What If?

 Honestly, I'm scared.

I'm worried for what the future holds.

What if it doesn't end okay?

What if they do the surgery and it's worse than they thought?

What if?

If. That tiny little word that changes everything. If and is.What could be and what will be. What may happen and what will happen. The difference between comfort and pain. Between heartache and joy.

Why am I wondering these things?

My Mama has been having some trouble. It happened first three years ago. It was diagnosed as a ministroke. They told Mama she had a brain tumor but it was nothing to worry about. She had another a few weeks ago.

Sometime in the near future, that benign brain tumor, which was the size of a pea and is the size of a golf ball, will be removed.

What if they go in and it's worse?


What will happen to my Mama? 


Why is God letting this happen?


There's a more important question.


Why wouldn't He? 


The question "Why?" can be dwarfed by the question of  "Why not?" 


Because there's a greater purpose.


I'm reminded of a C.S. Lewis quote. 


"Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted in spite of your changing mood."


Why am I reminded of this?


Because I'm having trouble trusting what I have written. 


Because sometimes all we see are the ifs. 


Sometimes all we see are the possibilities.


Sometimes all we can see are what can go wrong.


Sometimes all we can see is what could go right.


But I serve a God who knows both.


He knows what will happen.


He knows what I will do.


He cares about what we're going through.


He knows and cares and does.


"God is our refuge and strength,
    a helper who is always found
    in times of trouble."


Psalm 46:1 HCSB


Please pray for my family as we go through this hard time.

Beach Weekend!

 So, this past Thursday was my 12th birthday and to celebrate, we left on Saturday for Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Daddy, Katie, Cody, and I went to beachblast to see Anthem Lights, Disciple, Lecrae (!), tobyMac, and Skillet.

  Highlights:

  I met Lecrae!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I got his autograph and told him he had a nice hat (It was pretty cool).

  Lecrae did some of my favorite songs including God is Enough, Background, and Chase That.

  I could almost touch Disciple (which I didn't know at the time). On the way to their table, they walked really close to us.

  Skillet's performance ROCKED!!!!!! They did some of my favorite songs including Those Nights, Lucy, Hero, and Monster.


   Long story short, best concert (as far as show goes and some of my favorite artists) that I HAVE EVER BEEN TO!!!!!!!

  Other highlights include:

   Spending an amazing weekend with my family.

   Being able to go to the beach and pool.

   Shopping (I discovered this awesome accessory boutique call Bijuju).

   Going out to eat once (when you have a big family, going out to eat is a rare treat).

 

Prayer Request

 I have a prayer request for ya'll. My older siblings Katie (16) and Cody (14-he'll be 15 in August) are competing in the Finalists Drills at High Point tomorrow. They have a chance to go to Nationals and compete for a $2500 scholarship to the college of their choice (the top 3 winners will be rewarded one). My older sister Katie really wants to win, as does Cody. And honestly, I really want it for them. Katie is in High School Bible Drill and has memorized a TON of passages in the Bible, including the Love Chapter (1 Corinthians 13). She is one of the fastest people I've ever seen. If ya'll could just pray for them to have a TON of speed and quick recall, that would be appreciated. As Tori said,if you miss one, you're out. It'd really help if they could rack up on bonus points (you get bonus points when you are the first person up). They are some of the most mature Christians I've ever seen and I hold them in high regard. Yet again, I'd really appreciate it if you could pray for them to have quick recall.

Love,
Callie

"Tomorrow’s never promised, but it is we swear. Think we holding our own, just a fist full of air. God has never been obligated to give us life. If we fight for our rights, we be in hell tonight. Mere sinners own nothing but a fierce hand. We never loved him we pushed away his pierced hands. I rejected his love, grace, kindness, and mercy. Dying of thirst, yet, willing to die thirsty. Eternally worthy, how could I live for less? Patiently you turn my heart away from selfishness. I volunteer for your sanctifying surgery. I know the spirits purging me of everything that’s hurting me. Remove the veil from my darkened eyes. So now every morning I open your word and see the Son rise. I hope in nothin, boast in nothin, only in your suffering. I live to show your glory, dying to tell your story."

-Lecrae